False Spring

Is this really happening or is this just a false spring?

White pear blossoms sprout on dead branches

Milky white pollen between my finger tips

Slippery elms and middle pains

light returning time and time again

new life buds then retracts and falls

woodpeckers peck the hollowed halls

and I look across the coastline

I can almost see to the other side

I can almost see my future

and the snow starting to thaw

Is this my time to shine

Is it the end of wintertime

Or is this just a false spring

Just another false spring

I want to meet the bird king

I leave the magpies offerings

But is this really happening

Or is this just a false spring?

A hurt that hasn’t healed

A blister from a rock in my shoe I can’t get out

I always play the rock

Them the paper

Them the scissors

And a rock feels no pain

And an island never cries

And no one ever beats me

But no one ever sees me

I guess it was a false spring

the sky is dark and burbling

with rain that’s forming constantly

drop, and fade, evaporate

reform and wait in cloudy cage

I guess it was a false spring

Another week of bleeding

Another night of raining

And when it rains it pours

And when it spots it bleeds

And where it bleeds it leads

And circles down the drain

Like Janet Leigh in Psycho

I’m spiraling again

It doesn’t matter

How much you build the nest

It doesn’t matter how strong it is

How good the perch is

One wind blows and knocks it all down

And it doesn’t matter

How hard you tried

And how long you gathered sticks

And how many worms you got

One wind blows

And down it all goes

And it doesn’t matter

How hard you wanted it

And it doesn’t matter

How long you tried

And still you sing your bluebird song

Not because you’re happy

But because you are a bluebird

And that’s all you know

That’s how you speak

People mistake that for happiness

People mistake that for weakness

And it doesn’t matter

How good you are

Or how much you love each other

One wind blows

And you’re starting over

On the same branch

Or do you search

For a new chance

For a new perch

And still you sing your bluebird song

Not because you’re happy

Not because it’s dawn

But because you are a bluebird

And that’s all you know

That’s how you speak

That’s how you grieve

And talk is cheep